Klein Luna, Big Queenship
Blue hour at the beach. Salt in the air, four dogs, one man, two meters of leash—and me.
Riadh shows Luna how to set boundaries when three majestic beach dogs come a little too close. Not a fight, a choreography: a magnetic little ballet of paws and sand and spine.
I watch my terrier shake off all the Swiss don’ts: don’t bark, don’t jump, don’t exist too loud.
Here she is: barking, running, laughing, living. And my own spine rises with hers. We can bark. We can say no. We can be small and still take up space.
Mantra of the week: Small doesn’t mean silent.
Route Touristique (Bossfight Edition)
The Route Touristique does not qualify as a street. It’s a boss level. Four lanes of honking porridge; on weekends, a flowing traffic jam at minimum 40 km/h. It slices Kantaoui cleanly in two:
- My side: beach, apartment, cigarettes, dog food, cat babies.
- Other side: water-water-water supermarket, potential hairdresser, gorgeous office chairs (how much?!), pharmacie.
Regardless of taxis, I must cross.
Week 1: I wait politely and collect a sunburn.
Week 2: I cheat. I glue myself to a local’s back, 20 cm behind him, praying to Allah while bumpers flirt with my kneecaps.
Week 3 (now): Assertiveness 2.0—uploaded.
Crossing Protocol v2.0
- Walk straight. Shoulders back, chin up. Do. Not. Dither.
- Laser gaze. The look that says, “I exist. I’m crossing. You’ll figure it out.”
- Pick the slot. Like compiled code: the path is written, now execute.
- Optional Swiss-German audio overlay (if carbon or metal encroaches):
“Chuechichäschtli Fondue, you blöde Füdliarsch—brake now or explain to Allah why you flattened a grandma. Fahr ab.” - Commit. No scampering, no sprinting—decisive walking.
Result: the hellscape remains, but I’m no longer prey. Boundaries in motion.
Real-Estate Follies: Sofa Series A
Yesterday: handshake peace with Dahmen—“everything in writing, we agree.”
Today: the owner requests two months’ rent upfront—to buy… a sofa.
I don’t rent apartments to found furniture start-ups. Fuck-Off Mode engaged. Immediate exit. It was never home—just a chapter.
Lessons from Week 2
- Don’t wait for gaps—walk like code executing.
- Beware of landlords wielding Ikea catalogs.
- Street dogs are cheaper than therapy and sometimes better.
- Small is irrelevant. Audible is survival.