Similar, But Not the Same
Although avoidant personality disorder (AvPD) shares many features with social phobia (also called social anxiety disorder), they are two distinct conditions. AvPD is not simply a “more severe” form of social phobia – even though this misconception is sometimes repeated by therapists.
Symptom Disorder vs. Personality Disorder
AvPD isn’t about “worse fears” than social phobia. It’s about different – and deeper – feelings toward other people. Not just fear, but shame. A sense of worthlessness. Bitterness. The underlying assumption of being unwanted.
That’s why AvPD is classified as a personality disorder, while social phobia is considered a symptom disorder.
People with social phobia usually keep their personality intact outside of their anxiety episodes. They remain sociable, often maintain close, lasting relationships, and can be happily married and professionally successful.
Their difficulties tend to cluster around “islands” of panic – isolated situations where social anxiety flares up – while the rest of life remains largely unaffected.
AvPD Says: “I am like this.”
The hallmark of AvPD is the difficulty of getting close to people – and staying close.
Life with AvPD is shaped by a deep tendency to withdraw from intimacy and attachment itself. It’s not just the symbolic gestures of closeness that feel threatening – it’s closeness itself.
People with AvPD fear intimacy, commitment, and connection at their very core.
Social Phobia Says: “I behave like this.”
By contrast, those with social phobia are not afraid of intimacy as such, but of the situational context of social interactions.
Their fears are reactive, tied to certain settings – what psychologists sometimes call “trivial demands.” Examples include signing a check in public or using a public restroom.
These moments become overwhelming because they are linked to catastrophic mental scenarios: fainting, vomiting, losing control.
People with social phobia withdraw from social activities, not from relationships.
In Summary
- AvPD = a personality shaped around withdrawal.
- Social phobia = situational anxiety that leaves personality and relationships intact.
Two conditions that may look alike on the surface – but run on very different engines underneath.