Theory 1: The Master Manipulator (When my friends turn my dating life into a true-crime pilot episode)
It always happens the same way: the moment I mention that there is someone new in my life, my closest friends activate what I call the Alienation Intelligence Unit. They don’t know Amine. They only know what I tell them. And somehow that’s enough for them to create theories floating somewhere between Netflix true crime, amateur psychology, and Hitchhiker-style absurdity powered by pure improbability.
One of their favourite scenarios goes like this:
“What if he’s a master manipulator? What if he’s building trust now, only to drop a tragic ‘sick mother / urgent money problem’ story later? Zia lends him a big amount, money gone, roll credits.”
Honestly, my friends could easily write for TV.
Now here’s my personal, mathematically motivated assessment:
Probability of this theory being true: roughly 1 to 3 percent.
For everyone who struggles with percentages, here are some real-life comparisons:
– The odds of finding a 100-franc note on public transport in Switzerland are around 2 percent.
– The chance that a random street cat in Tunisia adopts you as their new human is easily 40 percent or more.
– The chance that hot oil splashes onto the exact same spot on your hand as last week is maybe 5 percent.
– Getting struck by lightning is far below 1 percent, but still spiritually relevant for comparison.
And my personal favourite: the probability that the Infinite Improbability Drive from The Hitchhiker’s Guide misfires and temporarily turns you into a potted plant feels more realistic than a perfectly orchestrated Amine-Heist.
So yes: the Master Manipulator theory is entertaining. It gives my friends the joyful illusion of being Sherlock Holmes over coffee. But realistic? Not really.
For this theory to be true, Amine would need an emotional-engineering skillset so advanced that I’d almost feel obligated to applaud. And even then, I’m not stupid: I never lend money in amounts that could actually harm me. Worst case, it would be mildly annoying.